Series: The 3 P’s

From my observation, there are three kinds of people in this world:

  • Those who know what they like to do, of course: but don’t know anything they would really like to settle on, or study intensely
  • Those who are super, crazily passionate about 10,000 different things and don’t know if they could ever settle on one
  • Those who know the exact one thing they want and are ready to go and do it.

Chances are, you are one of the first two. If you fall under the latter one instead, congratulations!  (I am seething with jealousy.)

fire p

The next three posts are going to be a series called “The Three P’s”: Purpose, Passion, and Perseverance, in that order.

Purpose will be directed towards the first type: those who are feeling pressure to “grow up” and pick something to be passionate about, but just don’t really care in the face of just loving the life they lead everyday as a perfectly justified person that does stuff.

Passion will address those “ADHDesque” folks who like everything they do so much that they absolutely cannot imagine picking one thing to do for the rest of their lives (which is the group I identify most strongly with). It will help narrow down different areas of interest till there are just 2 or 3 that you can work on at a given time.

Perseverance is for the last group of people, as well as everyone else after they’ve read the first two entries. It will cover identifying concrete goals, reaching milestone accomplishments, and sticking to what you are doing even when you have nobody behind you pushing.

This series is loosely based off of “The Three D’s” in my new e-book, Life Without College: The Method – which is available in beta till 4/24/14.  Please contact me if you would like to stay updated on its official release around 12/01/14!

We also now have a Facebook group called College Rebels | Beyond College | Life Without College | Lifelong Learners.  Please join us now to share self-education resources (blogs, articles, opportunities, websites, etc.) ideas, stories, advice, and more with a great community of like-minded individuals!

Stay tuned this weekend, folks!

Defining Success

defining success

“Many successful college kids would have been successful whether they went to college or not.”

“The bachelor’s degree? It’s America’s most overrated product.”

“More people need to realize that you don’t have to get a four-year degree to be successful.”

At some point, before or after you read this entry, I highly recommend reading this short article from which I have pulled the above quotes, Living the Good Life Without College.

This John Stossel article stirs up copious controversy among its readers: there is a frighteningly obsessive value put on “education” in this day and age; particularly on K-12 and University being the only means of achieving a “proper” education. Words I hear repeatedly in these arguments are “job,” “employment,” and “success,” often coupled with “you can’t.”

A huge amount of fear is ingrained in the American mind. We are told by teachers, politicians, peers, and often our family that, to paraphrase John Taylor Gatto, we must go to school, work hard, and get good grades; go to college, work hard, and get good grades; graduate, get a job, work hard for 40 years in that job to get as many promotions as possible and make as much money as possible, in order to buy as much STUFF as possible. So, in essence, the purpose of education is to own large amounts of grand material possessions. How valiant. How patriotic.

“Success” is a lightly thrown-around word these days.  What is this ever-sought enigma of ultimate achievement? What does that word really mean?

It is time we stepped out and thought for ourselves enough to acknowledge we want something different.  Something better. It’s an injustice to deny ourselves the true success of passion pursued.

It really is strange: in spite of everything else you could do in your precious young years, you are told to jump right into college after graduating highschool, whether you know what you want to do or not.  And, because you are unsure of what to do, you run the risk of college becoming another comfort zone, as grade school probably was – a safe cocoon delaying your rightful introduction to the Real World of Real Awesome Things.  So many of us jump into college not knowing why, or what we want to do afterwards.

Is it worth wasting years of our lives slogging away at something we are hardly passionate about, just because we are supposed to??

Somehow, it is tempting. By November 2007 (my “senior” year) I had gone around in millions of circles in the past eight months or so, pondering over what I truly wanted to do for the rest of my life. Every time I’d settle on something I would say to myself, “Okay, this is the one this time! This is my calling.” Of course, I usually changed my belief about what my “calling” was every month, give or take a couple of weeks. Naturally, it would have been be nice for me to simply choose one thing to study for four years, and sit back and “relax” while I learned it all, feeling secure in the knowledge that, once I graduated, I would have a degree that would supposedly allow me to make tons of money in the corporate world. But, by the time I would have graduated, would I have even wanted to have a job even close to what I had majored in?

I am 21 now: the answer is a firm NO.  And that’s for a myriad of reasons that I couldn’t have even comprehended at 17.

What have I been doing these past four years?

I’ve lived with passion, reverence, and awe: embraced this life and what it gives me, discovering myself and what I love doing – discovering the world and what it holds for me, and what I can give back.

When we are passionately pursuing life, we are successful.  We can do this with or without college: it is up to you whether you go now, later, or never.

“Success: To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded!” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Dreams vs. Reality: Fearless Following

Dreams vs. Reality

“How hard would you work, and for how long, if you knew you could have your dream for sure?

My dad often asks me this, and I reply by sighing reluctantly and pretending to think, hoping that the subject will magically change. Time has always been so imminent for me. Patience is easy for me in traffic or while waiting for my turn to take a shower.

However, when it comes to the big stuff, like perhaps starting an organization to help mistreated pets – that would take years! Years of doing nothing else other than sitting around working on this one thing! I’ll never get to accomplish my other dream of going on safari in Africa if I’m attached to a big organization. Even if that organization is my ultimate dream. I’ll just put it off five more years, then see if it happens, maybe magically.

But – dreams are meant to be accomplished, not stewed in your brain while you go off and do lots of procrastinating, eventually leaving them rotting on the side of the road because they are “too big.”

The reason we do this is that we have to work for our dreams, and work really hard; oftentimes, we become afraid of that hard work.

Even though we really want roast chicken, rosemary potatoes, and baked asparagus for dinner, it’s hard work throwing that kind of meal together, and you are already hungry. So what are you going to do, eat more Kraft Dinner and put off the roast chicken for another night? If you keep doing that, your chicken is going to go bad.

But what if we were really willing to work for our dreams? Could we conceivably believe in ourselves? Or maybe we don’t actually. Maybe it’s just too hard, or the dreams too far out to actually come true. They are called dreams for a reason, right?

I don’t think so.

So how hard would you be willing to work? How far would you be willing to go? How high would you climb? How long would you take? What would you do if you knew you could have your dreams for sure?

This is a two-step process, the dreaming and the working for the dream. But you have to do the dreaming first, right? Right. Here are some things to keep in mind:

Make sure to dream big. Don’t limit yourself. If you have longed to be a famous author, singer, or movie star since you can remember, don’t hold back because of others’ predictions that you’ll fail. At the same time, don’t limit yourself in the opposite way – if you have always yearned to be a farmer, prep cook, or a ditch digger, don’t let anybody tell you those are simple, undignified dreams. Whatever YOUR dream is, dream it YOUR big and don’t let anybody else define it for you.

You’re never done – always doing. I believe it’s a common misconception that there is a point in our lives in which we “accomplish our life goal.” Yes, I suppose that applies if your one life goal is one very concrete and specific thing, such as skydiving with your true love over southern New Zealand; however, is that really the one and only thing that you have lived your entire life to do, and now you can live mundanely and be bored for the rest of your existence?

I am a “List of Life Goals” maker. Things to do are always popping up in my head, and I have to write them all down in order to keep track of them.

One thing that was on my list for basically my entire life was, “Be the one who holds the snake.” To me, this meant that I, for once, would be the person holding the snake and showing him to other people, namely kids, educating them on how amazing snakes are, and, best of all, letting them pet the snake. I had always wanted to do this because I was always that kid who got to pet the snake that the person was holding, but I couldn’t hold it myself/take care of it for legal reasons, of course. As I grew older, I became more and more discontent with my spectator role, and was determined that it shouldn’t be forever. It was a big, important goal of mine, which I recently got to accomplish while working at the wildlife center this spring.

After working my first festival (where I met many little Jessicas), I came home beaming, talked forever about it, and wrote a very long entry in my journal. And, while I felt very accomplished, it was then that I realized that this was not a finite point, or the end of this goal necessarily. It was just the kick-off. I wasn’t discontent; to the contrary, I felt amazing.

All of that to say, goals are very progressive, which is a little hard to see when just dreaming them up. Some people like to plan out their goals in steps of smaller goals; personally, I like to just set a goal and see what comes of it. “Live in a hostel” became a work-trade in the beautiful town of Ashland that planted the seed for an interest in the hospitality business. “Work at a summer camp” became a dishwashing position at one of the freest and most accepting summer camps outside of unschool camps which wants to hire me back on kitchen staff next year. “Travel to cool and interesting places” became an undying wanderlust, all because I finally decided that maybe if I actually went somewhere for a change, the concept would become a little more like second nature.

Doubt is inevitable. So, what are you going to do about it? Cures for doubt are not one-size-fits all: different people have different ways of dealing with different types of doubt for different things. But when it comes to dreams, doubt plays your biggest antagonist, so the first and best thing to do is nip it in the bud, and beware of it at all times, because like telemarketers and little siblings, it doesn’t just go away.

(On that note: also beware that occasionally, doubt often comes in the form of laziness. Don’t be fooled.)

Live in the moment, for the moment. I have to regularly remind myself to stay in the present. It is too easy for me to get caught up dreaming and planning and working out details that don’t need to be worked out for weeks, months, or even years. I get like Luke Skywalker: “Never his mind on where he was – what he was doing!” (saith Yoda.) It’s a horrible habit that I have to consciously work on. I’ve gotten a lot better, but I still need to be careful.

All in all, never forget that you only live on this earth once. The least you can do is not purposefully do something you would rather not do. Like I said, in my next entry I will talk more on the subject of being realistic. For now, just dream, for real.

Here’s an “assignment” (don’t cringe – this will be fun!): in May 2010 when I worked on the Homeschool Leadership Retreat, one day Blake had everyone, staff and campers, write down a list of 100 goals that we would like to accomplish in our lives. Believe it or not, it took me a good part of the day to think of 100 things, but I did it, and had lots of fun.

So here is what you should do RIGHT NOW, or over the next 24 hours or so as you have time: make your own list of 100 goals. No less, though more than 100 is certainly acceptable. And feel free to list some/most/all of them in the comments here if you’d like! I would love to see what y’all come up with.

Refusing to Get Stuck

Sadly, a lot of people think that once you have left school, and/or once you reach a certain age, you can’t learn anymore. Nobody is teaching you. You are too old to learn.

Really? Is that really all there is?

Of course, if you believe all this B.S. you will turn into a person who can never learn another thing and will be stuck in the minimum wage job pool for the rest of your existence.

This is what people everywhere are afraid of. That is why everyone is telling you that you must go to college.

It never seems to cross anyone’s mind that you might actually “turn into” an awesome self-directed person: a person who seizes the day and finds their own path that gets them what they want, regardless if they are getting paid two dollars an hour or are salaried at 100,000 dollars a year.

So do it: rebel against what people think will become of you.

Universities are great learning institutions and are awesome for that purpose. But people get stuck in college. And often get stuck after college, too.

What we are doing is refusing to get stuck.

That’s why we are college rebels.

Be Yourself – But Please Conform

Our culture claims to teach individuality.  When you’re young, you are told you can be anything when you grow up.  I don’t know about you guys, but I took that message very seriously. 

That was for the first 15 years… then, they change it around. 

“Well, you can be whatever you want, but right now we have to focus on getting into college.  And, by the way, whatever you want to be when you grow up, you have to find a college that has that major and study the dickens out of it.  And if they don’t have your interest as a major, forget about it.  Pick another major – it will probably land you in a more lucrative job anyway.  And, by the way, if you don’t know what you want to do… go to college anyway.  You won’t be wasting your time, and surely you will figure it out eventually.”

In college, they are very big on you grasping these great and foreign concepts of “creativity” and “critical thinking.”  They even have classes on it.  My friend took one, and actually it sounds like fun, but that is beside the point.  The point is, I thought creativity and critical thinking were things you picked up just from existing in real life.

Something is wrong here. 

Be yourself.  But you must conform. 

Be creative!  Think for yourself, by all means!  But stop – you’re not doing it right! 

Why teach us to be individuals for a while, and then change around (right at the time of the teenage identity crises) and say we must fit in a box with everyone else?  Suddenly, dreams are forgotten and replaced with an artificial motivation to get into college and study something that “probably sounds good… I guess, anyway…”

Do yourself and the world at your fingertips a favor: be yourself, and don’t conform.  Do what you need to do to get by, and then reach for the stars.  Don’t listen to anybody who tries to put you in a box: people in boxes don’t change the world.

Comfort Zones

You have followed others’ directions ever since you can remember.  The thought of finding your own way is attractive, but terrifying.

Even though you want badly to forge your own path, why would you?  Why take the wily, unbeaten way when you could continue doing what you’ve been doing since you were 4?

To continue studying half-interesting material at someone else’s set pace, taking mandatory tests, doing assignments for someone else’s deadlines – instead of stepping out into the real world and having to design your own way?  I can’t blame anyone, it sounds blissful to sit back and let life happen.

College is a comfort zone; a plateau.

Say you have a weightlifting routine. In this routine you have a set weight and number of repetitions. You do this workout 5 days a week in order to build your strength in the targeted muscle groups.

However, there comes a point, usually after 4-6 weeks of the same routine, where your body does not build muscle anymore with those particular exercises, weights, and reps.  Your body has become used to the movements.

The solution?  Change the routine up. Perform different exercises, use heavier weights, and/or do more repetitions. This way your body never becomes so accustomed to something that it stops changing; it never gets too adaptive so that it becomes immune to shaping up. It never plateaus.

In the same way, as a person you want to keep growing and changing. To move through life and stay only in comfort zones prevents this from happening.

This does not mean that a stable, settled life is harmful to your personal growth; quite the contrary. However, as living, breathing, thinking, and feeling people, we need that element of change and diversion constantly in our lives.  

This variance does not have to be big scale – unless you know a complete change of scenery.  Perhaps you could exchange weekend bowling for some horseback riding lessons, or go on a hike and take pictures instead of spending your lunch hour clicking away at your favorite social networking site.

Listen to your soul: whenever you feel yourself getting too comfortable, take a little time to examine your situation, your motivation, and your attitude.  Go where you need to go, do what you need to do, and stay when you need to stay.  Just make sure you aren’t selling yourself short.

What’s Wrong With College?

Absolutely nothing.  However, you are probably familiar with many versions of the following:

“You can’t get a decent job without your bachelors.”

“A 4-year degree is what employers want.”

“There’s no way to prove that you can competently hold a job without going to college.”

“Statistically, people who hold a bachelors or higher earn more.”

“A college degree is simply the tried and true way to go.”

Surely there is a good amount of truth in these words. They had to originate from somewhere, right?

The number one thing college promises is the ability to get a high-paying job immediately after graduation. In the past couple of decades the message has boiled down to this: without college, there is no chance for succeeding in the job force.

Except that approximately 20% of college graduates are unemployed; and, in 2003, the unemployment level of college graduates actually surpassed the unemployment level of high school dropouts.

There is no denying that a college degree can often give you a significant edge over your competition in the Career World. In fact, it’s usually required – but it’s only required unless you can give your employers something equal or better.

Besides, in college, there are only so many subjects to major in that actually lead into careers that are guaranteed to “pay well.”

On top of that, classes are taught in basically one way: in the classroom with books, homework, tests, organized class discussions, “group projects” (aka I-do-all-the-work), and limited hands-on activities. College classes are rarely, if ever, taught to more than one learning style with no regard for the rest of us.

The great thing is that there is more than one way to get the education, skills, and experience, required for a job. Better ways that are:

– faster and less expensive than a 4-year degree
– devoid of irrelevant, required Gen Ed courses that take extra time and money
– more suited to your learning style
– directly honed in on your field of interest

The biggest mistake many highschool graduated make is enrolling in college “just because.” Perhaps this is a path you have been shoved down yourself: you don’t know what you want to do yet. But you have been told all your school career that you are supposed to go to college.

I would have had to make the college decision at 17. Now I am 21, and I’m more thankful than ever that my entire life was not determined by what I wanted to do four years ago.

———–

Sources:

“Unemployment level of college grads surpasses that of high-school dropouts” by Jared Bernstein

“What can students do to improve their chances of finding employment after graduation?”